


My doordash driver got arrested

by krafty



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Doordash, Fluff, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves gets some food lmao that's it, Not Beta Read, OOC, POV Alternating, Police Officer Diego Hargreeves, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, no beta we die like ben, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krafty/pseuds/krafty
Summary: Klaus orders some food with Doordash because he's hungryDiego arrests a Dasher for Doordash and has to deliver the foodCan you see where this is going
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	My doordash driver got arrested

It’s a quiet late-night patrol for Diego; not too many illegal acts happening, aside from a few people speeding. He’s not going to jinx it, though. He knows how fast things can change. That they can go from one to one hundred in a matter of seconds. He’s sitting on the side of the road in his police car, watching other vehicles pass by in a blur.

Another car speeds by, this one black in color. He sighs and goes to pull them over. They stop on the side of the road, for which he is thankful. It’s always annoying when he has to chase someone down just to give them a ticket.

He steps out of his own car and walks to the black sedan, gravel crunching under his heavy shoes. He rolls his eyes. This isn’t what he’d pictured when he’d signed up to be a police officer, but you do what you can, he supposes. He reaches the already rolled down window and frowns. He recognizes this face— their smiling photograph is hanging up on numerous walls in the station. He’s labeled as a threat by many.

Of course.

“I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the car,” Diego says once he’s close enough to be heard by the man in the car. He can smell food, and he thinks it’s probably warm. It’s in a red insulated bag, after all.

“What? Man, are you serious?” But they get out and shut the door, staring up at Diego, who gets out his handcuffs. He leads the criminal back to the car as they talk. “Can you leave my car here? My friend can pick it up for me.” Diego shrugs.

“Sure.”

“Great. But there’s something else.” Diego waits, lips pressed in a thin line.

“What is it?” he asks after a minute of silence. He licks his lips, nerves rising. What the hell does this guy _want_?

“I’m a Doordash driver.”

What. What. What?

* * *

Diego scowls as the degenerate climbs into the back seat of his patrol car. His night just got a whole lot busier, it seems. “And what am _I_ supposed to do about that?”

“Well, the customer really wants their food. That’s why I was—”

“—Yeah, yeah, speeding. But can’t your friend get it?” This man really needs to get to the point, jeez.

He already knows the answer to his question, though. Still, he’s hoping he won’t have to do what he thinks he has to do.

“Nope, they’re going to come in a few hours at the least. They live kinda far away.”

“So…?”

“So you have to get the food.” Annnd there it is. Great. He’s going to deliver some food to some family instead of doing his job of protecting people.

Not that there’s much to protect them from.

He sighs. He’s too tired for this shit. But regardless, he locks his car and goes to get the stuff. He reaches the black car and pulls out the insulated bag from ealier, which he now realizes says Doordash in white lettering. He throws it over one shoulder and heads back to his car.

“All right, where am I going?”

* * *

It’s cold, and Klaus is tired. On nights like these, he usually skips eating because it’s too much effort to rob somewhere or make something. But Ben is staring at him with those stupid eyes. The ones that make him do (or on the flip side, _not_ do) shit. He groans.

“Fiiine.” He whips out his phone, since he has some money in his debit. Ben quirks a brow. Klaus opens up Doordash and picks out some food from Chick-fil-A. “Do you want anything?”

Ben glares, “I can’t eat.”

“Oh, right. Whoops.” He smiles apologetically and orders his dinner.

“At least you’re eating…” Ben mumbles. Klaus pretends he doesn’t hear.

* * *

“Okay, where the heck is this food?! I’m hungryyyy,” Klaus complains. He opens up the chat feature and reads through it.

_Where is my food,_ he quickly types out. No response. _Hellloooo?_ Nothing. He can see that their car is moving (which means his food is moving!) but it’s so far away.

And then it stops.

“What happened?” Klaus wonders aloud, sitting upright.

“Maybe they went to throw their phone in a river because you’re too demanding,” Ben suggests. Klaus waves him off.

“That can’t be it!”

“You started spamming them after five minutes,” he points out. Klaus shrugs.

“And?”

“Oh my God.”

“Hey! Hey, it’s moving again!” Klaus shouts excitedly. Ben glances out of the corner of his eyes.

“That’s… good.”

* * *

“Oh my God, we’re driving in _circles,_ do you have any idea where I’m going?!” Diego shouts to the back. The criminal shrugs.

“Nope! Use the map, idiot!”

Diego scowls, “I _am_ using the map!” He wasn’t, but it’s not like he’s going to admit that.

* * *

“They’re driving in circles???” Klaus frowns.

“Wait really? Let me see!”

* * *

“Oh, there’s the station… weird. I’m just going to drop you off real quick,” Diego mumbles to himself. He’s still heard.

“Are you sure you can handle this without me? What about my phone?”

Diego groans, “You’ll get your damn phone, and yes, I can handle myself.” He gets out of the car and drags the guy into the building.

* * *

“They stopped again! At the… police station?” Klaus is sitting on his couch, watching his phone with curiousity. Ben sits next to him.

“What?” Ben moves to snatch it, but he can’t, because he’s a ghost. Klaus holds it out of reach regardless.

“Yeah! Do you think they got arrested?”

“You don’t get arrested for speeding.”

“Who said they were speeding?”

“Klaus–”

* * *

Diego gets back in the police car and stares at the Doordash app. He’s lucky that he memorized the password to this phone, otherwise he’d have to go back in and talk to that idiot again.

He pulls onto the road and starts driving again. He wonders what kind of food this person wanted. Or was it a family?

Who knows.

* * *

“Ah! They’re back! I think it’ll be here soon!”

“That’s all you can think about, isn’t it?” Ben asks tiredly.

“Yep!”

* * *

Diego reaches the place where he thinks he’s supposed to deliver this food and parks. He steps out of the car and grabs the red bag with someone’s dinner in it, feeling stupid. Why is he doing this?

He stares up at the numerous rooms and pauses. Which one was it…?

* * *

“They’re like, a minute away!” Klaus rushes to the window of his room, gaze darting around the darkened sidewalk. He spots a police car and freezes. “Cops!”

“Is your food out there?” Ben asks calmly, making his way over.

“I don’t know!” Klaus shouts, moving away from the glass. Ben sits a second before a thought hits him.

“Hey, did you tell them your apartment number?”

There’s silence as Klaus thinks.

“Uuuh, oops…”

* * *

Diego hears the guy’s phone ping and jumps to get to it– it’s still in the car. He reads the chat message and sighs in relief. It’s the apartment number.

He makes his way up to 108, hoping the food is still warm. He knocks on the door he thinks is correct and waits for whoever it is to get up.

The door swings open and Diego bluescreens.

* * *

Klaus throws his phone on his couch after sending the message with his number, 108. He jumps when someone knocks on the door. Ah, right! His food!

He rushes to the door and throws it open eagerly. His Dasher has a look of pure horror on his face. Ben looks over and gasps. Klaus makes a face at his brother in the living room before realization settles in.

“Diego?!”

* * *

Diego groans, bringing a hand to his flushed face. “H-hi, K-K-Klaus…” It’s been years since he’s seen his brother. He hates that his stutter has to make an appearance. Klaus looks like he’s doing good, though. His eyes aren’t even red.

“I didn’t know you did Doordash!” Diego drops his hand in surprise.

“I-I don’t!” He slides the bag off of his shoulders and takes the food out. “W-where do I put this shit?”

“Wait, then… why do you have my food? Why are you my Dasher?” Diego sidesteps him and sets his brother’s food out on a spare table. His brother moves to follow.

“I arrested this guy and he made me do it.” Klaus looks like he’s going to say something, but then he pauses, considering.

“That… makes sense, actually. Huh.”

“Yeah. All right, I’m going—”

“—No, wait!” Klaus grabs his hand. “Wanna eat with me?” Diego shrugs.

“I-I guess?” Klaus beams.

“Great! You can eat some of my fries!” He shuts the door and leads Diego to the table, Ben talking excitedly. Klaus tries to be a middle man for their ghost brother.

…And, well, it’s actually pretty great.


End file.
